Category Archives: Saturday is Horror Day

Saturday is Horror Day #108 – The Order, Final Destination 2

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

The Order


Alex Bernier (Heath Ledger) is a young priest with special talents he uses in the service of the Church. He is devastated to learn of the death of his mentor, Dominic (Francesco Carnelutti).  They belong to the dwindling order of the Carolingians. A priest named Driscoll (Peter Weller) sends Alex to Rome to investigate the death. Before he leaves, he is visited by Mara (Shannyn Sossamon), a young woman whom he exorcised a year before. She attempted to kill him and has been in a mental institution ever since…until she makes her escape and rejoins the priest she has a crush on. He lies in order to hide her presence and take her to Rome with him.

In Rome, he is reunited with an old friend and fellow order member, Thomas (Mark Addy). Alex does not believe the official story that Dominic committed suicide. He bribes a morgue attendant to allow him to view the body and discovers unexplained wounds which may be the sign of a Sin Eater. Alex turns to a mysterious hooded figure, head of a pagan cult, who reveals that this man is William Eden (Benno Fürmann), who was born during the Renaissance. His duty is to perform the last rites for those the Church deems unworthy of more traditional rites.

 

Alex is a priest in conflict, having feelings for Mara that he should not have. Eden reveals his life as a sin-eater to Alex, in the hopes that he will take his place. But he decides to take a chance on love instead and leaves the priesthood instead in order to be with her. Will this decision place the ones he cares about in harm’s way? Is this really an offer Alex can refuse?

 

To be honest, I watched this because it has Heath Ledger, and I have to say he does very well. Shannyn Sossamon does okay. I don’t think she’s a particularly good actress, but she isn’t terrible either. I loved the relationship between Alex and Thomas – you may recall Mark Addy as Robert Baratheon from Game of Thrones. These two have done at least one other film together, A Knight’s Tale. Peter Weller, of Robocop fame, is chilling as Driscoll. However, that being said, the film isn’t really all that interesting. I’m including it as horror, but using the term loosely. There are a lot of slow parts, and I didn’t feel particularly engaged other than with Ledger. Would I recommend it? Not really. I’ll give it 3 Stars, and that only because of Heath Ledger. If you aren’t a fan of his, give it a pass.

Final Destination


A year after the events in the first movie, Kimberly (A.J. Cook) is headed off to fun in the sun with a few friends over their break. Just before getting on the highway, AJ experiences a strange vision, involving a horrific chain accident set off by a truck bearing huge wooden poles, one that culminates in many deaths. Freaked out, Kimberly blocks the highway entrance, refusing to move, much to the annoyance of other drivers. A passing state trooper,  Officer Burke (Michael Landes) stops to see what the problem is. She tries to explain, but he is understandably skeptical. Just then the truck she saw passes by and before their eyes, the accident occurs, with Kimberly, her friends, the officer, and the people she blocked all surviving. But does that mean they’ve only postponed the inevitable?

Knowing this was the anniversary of Flight 180, Kimberly is determined to figure out the meaning 


behind what happened. The only survivor of the crash still alive is Clear Rivers (Ali Larter), so Kimberly goes to visit her. The paranoid Clear isn’t very forthcoming with either sympathy or answers, so Kimberly leaves. But people are still dying, and Clear can’t ignore the facts.

 

Okay, so maybe the premise is a little lacking and doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. Death making a list? Then what, checking it twice? The personification of Death is a little weird. Also the premise that when your number is up, it’s up, and Death will still get you. But beyond that, it’s entertaining, especially seeing all the innovative “accidents” that culminate in some rather gruesome deaths. One definite plus is the all-too-brief appearance of Tony Todd. I hope he returns in the next two films. I think it’s worth watching, so I’ll also give this film 4 Stars.

 

Saturday is Horror Day #107 – Final Destination

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

Final Destination

Alex Browning (Devon Sawa) is going to Paris with a group of classmates, including his best friend Tod (Chad Donella). As they settle themselves onto the plane, Alex has a vision that unfolds before him, which ends in an explosion which destroys the plane and kills everyone. A panic-stricken Alex tries to warn everyone to get off the plane, but only ends up getting himself and a few of the students ejected from the plane, and one of the teachers accompanying them. The students are upset with Alex, watching the plane they were meant to be on take off without them…until it suddenly explodes before their very eyes, killing everyone on board. Now the question is, how did he know?

People are upset with Alex for what they perceive as his foreknowledge of the fatal event. The FBI are 

even called in, and they question everyone, especially Alex. He insists he wasn’t on drugs, he just saw a vision, but the agents are skeptical.  Tod’s father doesn’t want his son around Alex, to Alex’s dismay. But he gets a warning in the form of a piece of paper with Tod’s name, rather than a vision, and he hurries to his friend’s home, but he is too late.

Everyone is giving Alex a wide berth now, except for Clear (Ali Larter). She shows up to Tod’s house the same night as Alex, having felt something through him, as if they are connected somehow. One of the surviving students, Carter (Kerr Smith) has never been a friend, but he is openly combative now and tries to fight Alex at every turn. But Alex only wants to figure out what’s going on and save everybody. Is death pre-ordained? Or is there a pattern, and if you figure it out, you can change it and avoid death?

 

I found this to be an interesting watch, even if Alex’s theories didn’t always make sense, and some of the accidents seemed really farfetched. But even so, it was entertaining, although if you are looking for answers, you won’t find them here. Luckily, this is just the first film in the series. It remains to be seen how good the others are. But I did like this, so I’ll give it 4 Stars and look forward to the next one.

Saturday is Horror Day #106 – One Missed Call

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One Missed Call

People begin to received mysterious missed calls that leaves messages containing the person’s date and time of their deaths. Nobody will listen to Beth (Shannyn Sossamon) who is explaining about the phone calls and how they tie in to the deaths. But Detective Jack Andrews (Edward Burns) believes her, because of the death of his sister. Together, they are going to get to the bottom of this!

That may sound like an oversimplification of the plot, but it’s not. In fact, it makes it sound more interesting than it is. The story goes from person to person, one missed call after another, followed by two days of hallucinations – centipedes and ghostly figures – before death ensures. Even that is more interesting than this film. This is a remake of a Japanese film of the same name, and even that wasn’t particularly well received. This version is so bad it received a score of 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Far from being frightening, I found this film boring and couldn’t wait for it to end – and it’s only an hour and a half long! The writing isn’t good, neither is the direction, the acting is so-so, and the characters are forgettable. Would I recommend watching this? Hell no! I’ll give this film 1 Star and that’s all I have to say on that.

Saturday is Horror Day #105 – Phantasm V: Ravager, Dead Snow

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

Phantasm 5: Ravager

Reggie (Reggie Bannister) is trying to find Mike (A Michael Baldwin) and rescue him from the Tall Man (Angus Scrimm). And also save the world.

I know, that’s an oversimplification of the plot, but seriously, this is the plot for every entry in this series. And this is the last one (I don’t believe, at least I hope there will not be a sixth Phantasm. No reason there should be to be honest).

How does this one compare to the others? The series has been going downhill after the second one. This one is no exception. It’s terrible. We have Reggie who yo-yos back and forth between the future where he is an old man in a nursing home and Mike tells him he has dementia and none of what he knows is real and a present where he is fighting the Tall Man.

The only redeeming quality of this film is that someone figured out that Reggie Bannister is a better actor than A Michael Baldwin and they made the plot Reggie-centric. I do use the word plot loosely. And, of course, Reggie being Reggie, there has to be a girl involved. Cause he’s this chick-magnet, don’t you know? And hey, we even get to see Jody (Bill Thornbury), Mike’s brother again.

All in all, a terrible film. I only give it 2 Stars because Reggie amuses me. Unless you’re compelled to finish the series, I would skip it.

Dead Snow

A group of medical students are taking a ski vacation at the cabin in the mountains. Fun and friends, the recipe for a fun vacation, right? Well, unfortunately for these medical students, they’re not only in the middle of nowhere, but they are about to enter a nightmare they could never have dreamed of before

The group reaches the cabin, anticipating the arrival of its owner, Maria. But unbeknownst to them, Maria has met with foul play and she won’t be coming. Everyone decides to relax, drink, and play games, including Twister. This cabin is so rustic that it has no indoor plumbing, necessitating the use of an outhouse.  An unexpected knock on the door frightens them, but it turns out to be an older man, who asks for a cup of coffee. Familiar with the area, he is dismissive of the young people and their lack of preparation for their trip. Do they even know the history of this area? He tells them a story about German occupation and how the locals fought back after three years of oppression. But, he concludes, there is an evil here, a presence that can’t be denied. He drinks their bad coffee, smokes a hand-rolled cigarette and is on his way. They dismiss his words as so much nonsense.

But then they begin to hear things. When one of the young men goes to the outhouse, he is joined there by one of the women, and more fun ensues. Afterward, he returns to the cabin first…but she is not so lucky. Attacked in the outhouse, she tries to make her way back to the cabin, but never makes it. While they try to figure out what is going on, they find themselves under attack…by Nazi zombies! The fight is on!

At first, I admit, this film is pretty much the standard young people in a cabin in the woods terrified by a menacing presence they have to overcome. As such, it’s a little slow at first. But the difference is – Nazi zombies! That’s something you don’t see everyday. The make-up on these guys is great! And they are pretty terrifying. Not sure what I would do if faced with this bunch.  And they turn an okay film into a more terrifying and interesting. Be aware, there is a lot of blood and guts and such, so not recommended for the squeamish. But it was definitely worth watching, and I’m looking forward to the sequel. I’ll give this film 4 Stars.

Saturday is Horror Day #104 – Green Room

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

Green Room

Punk rock band The Ain’t Rights consists of four friends – Pat (Anton Yelchin), Sam (Alia Shawkat), Reece (Joe Cole), and Tiger (Callum Turner). The band is touring the Pacific Northwest, but to say they’re not getting good gigs would be an understatement. They’re kind of forced to take what they can get. Which is how they end up in a bar in the middle of nowhere, filled with all sorts of creepy neo-Nazi sorts. What the heck, it’s just one night, and it’s more money than they’ve been getting lately, so why not?

Their set goes about as well as expected… more or less. The friends just want to get their money and move

on to the next gig. But things don’t quite go as planned, when they become witness to something they weren’t supposed to see. And now they are being held in the Green Room, while it’s decided what will happen to them. Can this possibly end well?

This film is really gritty and very visceral. Imagine being at the mercy of young violent skinheads, not knowing if they intend to kill you for what you accidentally saw, or even just for their own pleasure. It’s hard not to sympathize with the members of The Ain’t Rights, and there is nothing even remotely sympathetic about the people who hold them hostage. Not even their leader, Darcy, played by the inimitable Patrick Stewart. This film does not hold back, be warned of that. Explicit and gory, it’s not for the faint at heart. Green Room explores the seamier side of human nature. It’s scary to think that people such as this exist, but I’m sure they do. I’ll give this film 4 Stars.

Saturday is Horror Day #104 – Phantasm IV: Oblivion

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

Phantasm IV: Oblivion

The saga continues as Mike (A Michael Baldwin) and Reggie (Reggie Bannister) chase down the elusive Tall Man (Angus Scrimm), determined (as always) to take him out once and for all. And yet for all their good intentions and machinations, they never manage to do so, do they?

In the fourth installment, our heroes are separated, but working toward the same goal. Mike is driving a

hearse, and Reggie a muscle car. Naturally, the Tall Man appears to both of them at different times, toying with Mike. He continues to call him boy (though he ceased to be one long ago) and tells him what he can and cannot do. Mike’s brother Jody (Bill Thornbury) makes his appearance as well, although there is some confusion as to just what he is, as he supposed died years ago.

Their individual pursuits lead Reggie and Mike to Death Valley where they find the same weird gateway they found in the mausoleum in the first film. Mike enters it and finds himself in what he believes to be a different time, and there he encounters a different incarnation of the Tall Man, a much nicer version. Meanwhile, Reggie, as usual, manages to pick up a girl, because we know what a chick magnet he is.

Seriously, there is not a lot to this one. Mike is not only depressing, he’s suicidal, and who can blame him? He’s spent his whole life in this nonsensical pursuit of the Tall Man. Who wouldn’t be psychologically disturbed? Reggie is Reggie, and for the most part oblivious to a great deal, but I will say he’s a great friend, and someone who won’t ever give up. Still, this adds little to the sage, except for the possibility that maybe Mike and Jody can go back to the beginning and change things. But that remains to be seen. There is one more film in the series. I’ll give this film 2.5 Stars

Saturday is Horror Day #102 – Terrifier

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

Terrifier

It’s Halloween night, and Tara (Jenna Kanell) and Dawn (Catherine Corcoran) are out having a good time. But they have a bit too much to drink, so they decide to get a bite to eat to eat at a small diner. There they see the same creepy clown (David Howard Thornton) that was annoying them earlier. Did he follow them? Dawn doesn’t let him get to her and cheekily asks for a selfie while sitting on his lap.

 

After he leaves, they return to the car only to find one of the tires has been slashed. Distraught, Tara calls 

her sister Victoria (Samantha Scaffidi) for a ride. Although she’s studying for midterms, she agrees to come get them when her roommate returns unexpectedly with a male guest, and it’s obvious they are going to be noisy. While they wait, Tara has to use the bathroom, but where? Dawn smiles a man stepping out of a building and asks him on Tara’s behalf to let her in. Mike (Matt McAllister) is an exterminator and he’s reluctant, but finally agrees to let her in while Dawn waits in the car.

The building is disgusting and filthy, and it has rats, but beggars can’t be choosers. But then Art the Clown makes his appearance and everything goes downhill from there…

 

This film was… I guess torture porn would be a good description. The little plot there is only serves to bring everybody together in this location in order to be killed. Why? I have no idea what this guy’s problem is. He never speaks, remaining mute throughout the entire film. Why? No clue. Maybe we’ll find out in the sequel. Is there gore? In spades. One scene after another. This movie is not for the squeamish, not at all. There is one scene where a girl is hung upside down, naked, and split open, down the middle, starting between her legs.

I had many questions, but few answers. One of the biggest was why this scummy building would even need or call for an exterminator. It looked to be abandoned. So why was he there? Or is that just bad writing? The guy playing the clown did a great job. Definitely gave up very creepy vibes. Did I enjoy this movie? Not really. Am I going to see the sequel? Of course I am. So, I’ll so that if you know what you’re in for going into this, you’ll be fine. I wouldn’t blindside anyone with this though. I’ll give this film 4 Stars for doing what it meant to do pretty well. 

Saturday is Horror Day #101 – Haunt, Frankenhooker

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

Haunt

It’s Halloween night and a group of friends are bored and not in the mood for the usual Halloween tricks or treats. When they happen upon a flier for an “extreme” haunted house, they decide to check it out. But they quickly discover that some nightmares are for real…

This film is by the writers of A Quiet Place, and while it may not be a great film, it’s a pretty good horror film, and will keep you guessing as to what is going on. This may even put you off of going to haunted houses, as it becomes hard to distinguish between what is staged and what is real. High gore factor as well as hitting on common phobias, such as spiders and confined spaces. All in all a satisfying watch. Also, it was produced by Eli Roth of Hostel fame. I’ll give this film 4 Stars.

Frankenhooker

Jeffrey (James Lorinz) is a bit… unusual. A wannabe doctor/inventor, who dreams of the great contributions he’ll make to help mankind. But when his fiancé Elizabeth is killed in a tragic lawn mower accident, he realizes he must do something to keep her alive. He steals her head and vows to rebuild her body. But how? Of course! He must come up with new female parts, so he decides to shop for them among the hookers!

Armed with a lot of money and drugs and little common sense, Jeffrey becomes involved a group of

hookers who work for Zorro (Joseph Gonzalez). When Jeffrey realizes he can’t go through with his plan, the hookers discover the drugs he has brought and ingest them, and chaos ensues. What else can he do but go through with his original plan? Although maybe the result isn’t quite what he envisioned.

This was one hysterically funny and campy horror movie! From the same guys who brought us Basket Case, no less, it’s an homage to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, as well as low budget gory horror films of the 50s and 60s. It is simply hilarious from start to finish, from the lawn mower accident to the ending. Jeffrey finds relief from stress by inserting a drill into his brain. Also, look for a cameo by Louise Lasser (of Mary Hartman fame, and ex wife of Woody Allen) as Jeffrey’s mother. I had no idea how good this film was or I would have watched it soon.

The acting is spot on, writing is great, lots of gore and lots of laughs. Definitely a fun time. I’ll give this film 4.5 Stars.

Saturday is Horror Day #100 – Smile, Silence of the Lambs

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

I’d like to start by saying welcome to the 100th post of Saturday is Horror Day! Little did I know when I first began to write this weekly adventure into the horror genre that it would last this long, but here we are. My first review is for the movie Smile, but I am going to look for something I like better before I post this for a second review. Thanks for taking the journey with me, hope you are enjoying the reviews and plan to continue to ride along!

Smile

Psychiatrist Rose Cotter (Sosie Bacon) has a disturbing encounter with a patient who insists that she is being stalked by an entity who changes faces and forms, but has only one constant – its smile. Trying to probe further into the young woman’s problems, their session comes to a chilling end, traumatizing Rose.  Having witnessed her suicide, not only can Rose not get it out of her mind, but she is beginning to see strange things herself. The more she sees, the less people believe or trust her, and she is about to become a part of the same institution where she works, except for viewing it from the inside! Will no one save her from the creature who smiles?

I will admit this was a creepy film, but not anything extraordinary. Decent writing and acting, but a not

overly complex plot which isn’t even fully explained. I never did understand who or what the creature was. Nonetheless it’s worth watching at least once. If for no other reason, than to see Kal Penn as Rose’s boss. Also, Robin Weigert plays Rose’s therapist. A good evening’s entertainment. I’ll give it 3.5 Stars

I decided to rewatch one of my favorite films for this post, hope you enjoy it too!

Silence of the Lambs

FBI trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) is called into the office of her supervisor, Jack Crawford (Scott Glenn), the last thing she expects is to receive an actual field assignment. He tells her that they are doing a survey among a number of known and incarcerated serial killers for a study. Most of them have been cooperative, but one in particular has not and he wants Starling to approach him with the survey and to see if she can get answers out of him. Clarice is surprised that this seems to take priority right now, what with the killer Buffalo Bill on the loose – so-called because he likes to skin his humps. But what can she do but obey? So off to Baltimore she goes.

Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) has been incarcerated at the Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane for a dozen years. He is held securely behind a wall of glass at the end of the hall. The director of the hospital, Dr. Frederick Chilton (Anthony Heald) is not only obnoxious but ambitious. He’s miffed when Clarice snubs his advances and his assistance. Dr. Lecter becomes intrigued by Clarice and her naivete and toys with her. But when another inmate disrespects her, he gives her some actual information.

Clarice follows the clues Lecter obliquely gave her and discovers a severed head in the back seat of an

old car in a storage unit. Crawford takes her with him unexpectedly after the discovery of another corpse in West Virginia, and she suddenly realizes she has become part of the Buffalo Bill case. In the meantime, Catherine Martin  (Brooke Smith), daughter of Senator Ruth Martin (Diane Baker) is kidnapped, and finds herself at the bottom of a well, being told to put the lotion on her skin.

Jealous of Clarice’s continued association with Lecter, Dr Chilton bugs his cell and learns some interesting information that Crawford has fed to Lecter through Starling. But Chilton decides to make his own deal with the distraught senator in hopes of fostering his own career. However, he’ll learn soon enough what it means to make an enemy of Hannibal Lecter. Clarice is racing against time, as Buffalo Bill is known to kill his victims after three days. But why? And what is the meaning of the marks on their backs? And why a death’s head moth?

Tick tock, tick tock…time is ticking, Clarice…

Based on the novel by Thomas Harris, Silence of the Lambs is a magnificent thriller that keeps you guessing to the very last minute. Jodie Foster shines as Clarice, the naive young woman whose greatest desire is to be in the FBI, and aspires to be a profiler. Scott Glenn is her supervisor, Jack Crawford, who takes a chance on a trainee to entice Lecter into helping with the Buffalo Bill case, although he doesn’t tell her that. Ted Levine is incredible as Jame Gumb (I am a huge Ted Levine fan) and his dance is pretty amazing. But the star of the show, without a doubt, is Sir Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter, one of the most fascinating characters to be found both in the book and on the silver screen. Prior to this, there was a film of the novel Red Dragon, called Manhunter, which starred Brian Cox as Lecter. But once Hopkins assumed the role, it became his.

Direction, acting, writing – this film has it all. And it stands up to repeated viewings. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this. I’ll give this film 5 Stars.

Saturday is Horror Day #99 – Barbarian

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Reviewer: Julie Lynn Hayes

Barbarian

Tess (Georgina Campbell) books a night at an AirBnB for a job interview the following day. Arriving during a storm, she discovers to her dismay that when she uses the code on the lockbox, the key isn’t there. That isn’t supposed to work that way. Then her irritation turns to confusion when she sees a light inside. Knocking, she discovers that Keith (Bill Skarsgärd) is already there and he too has a reservation for the night. Tess decides to leave but Keith persuades her to stay, and gives her the bedroom. She is wary but doesn’t have much of a choice. She goes to her room and closes the door, before going to bed. But in the middle of the night, she awakens, hearing a noise, to find her door open. She confronts the sleeping Keith, who denies all knowledge of the door.

Tess goes to her interview the next day and is shocked to see the neighborhood surrounding the AirBnB consists of decrepit, boarded-up houses. Good thing she isn’t staying long. After her interview, she returns to the house but there is no sign of Keith. When the power acts up, she heads to the basement to deal with it, only to accidentally lock herself in when the door closes behind her. And she has left her phone upstairs. Searching for a way out, she stumbles upon a secret room which contains a bed whose mattress is covered in suspicious stains and a camera on a tripod. Who knows what once went on in this place. Spying a door, she opens it to discover what appear to be steps carved into the ground, leading down…

 
 
 

AJ (Justin Long) is a one-time actor whose career was ruined by false accusations from a female co-

star. Determined to get away from it all, he decides to go to one of the properties he owns, which he rents out as an AirBnB. He’s confused to find evidence of occupation, since no one is supposed to be there.  But it looks like a couple of people are staying there, although they aren’t in evidence. In looking around, he heads down to the basement and is locked in too. Then he too discovers the secret room, which leads to the secret door leading down, down, down… to where? Hearing a cry, he heads down to find out.

 

To be honest, this is the point where I just gtfo some other way and not down those creepy stairs. But then where would the movie be, right? She does go down the stairs, of course. This movie is not what it first appears to be. And it is pretty creepy. I’ll admit I didn’t find the ending as disturbing as some might, but I’ve seen this trope before. It’s not something one would readily guess, though. Definitely worth watching, and probably rewatching. I’ll give this film 4 Stars.